Self-Investment Isn't Selfish, It's Necessary
You Deserve to be chosen
A client showed up to a session recently and said,
“I was invited to my nephew’s basketball game tonight, but I declined because I really felt like I needed this session. So I said no to the game, but I said yes to myself.”
She often goes above and beyond for others, sometimes at her own expense. Hearing this shift from her was a huge win in my eyes—not because she skipped an event, but because she recognized that making time for herself wasn’t selfish.
She knew that taking this hour for movement would:
✅ Refill her cup
✅ Off-load stress so she could show up fully in her own business
✅ Make her stronger—physically and mentally—so she could continue showing up for the people she loves for years to come
Why It’s So Hard to Say Yes to Yourself
For many women and people socialized as women/girls, prioritizing yourself feels wrong. There’s a deep, ingrained expectation—sometimes subtle, sometimes explicit—that you should put others first.
It’s not just a feeling. The data backs it up:
Women and people socialized as women take on an average of 2+ extra hours of unpaid labor per day compared to men—childcare, grocery shopping, meal prep, and household tasks that no one else is stepping up to do.
Many feel guilty stepping away from these responsibilities—not only because of external pressure but because if they don’t do them, they may not get done at all.
Delegation often feels like more work: teaching someone the task, correcting mistakes, or dealing with “weaponized incompetence” (when someone intentionally does a task poorly to avoid doing it again).
So, when it comes to taking time for a workout, meal prepping, or even just resting—it can feel like you’re doing something wrong. But are you?
The Real Cost of NOT Investing in Yourself
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable in your skin—avoiding photos, skipping social outings, or feeling disconnected from your own body—know this:
The discomfort of staying stuck is often worse than the discomfort of growth.
Investing in yourself doesn’t just impact you. When you’re cared for, well-fed, rested, and moving your body in ways that feel good, you show up better in every aspect of your life:
✔️ You have more energy
✔️ You’re more patient with loved ones
✔️ You’re more present in your relationships
✔️ You feel more like yourself
That’s not selfish. That’s necessary.
Making Space for Yourself (Without the Guilt)
The good news? You don’t have to overhaul your life to create time for yourself. Here are some small but impactful ways to carve out space for YOU:
🔹 If you have kids:
Teenagers can help with meal planning. Example: “Write 2 lunch ideas and 1 snack on the grocery list by Friday night.” This gives them autonomy while taking a task off your plate.
Younger kids can help in age-appropriate ways—washing produce, stirring ingredients, setting the table.
🔹 If you have a baby:
Short workouts count. 5–10 minutes is better than nothing.
If a partner is in the picture, schedule non-negotiable times for them to take over, even if it’s just once a week.
🔹 If you’re child-free:
Automate tasks where you can—grocery delivery, meal subscriptions, or batch cooking to lighten the load.
Swap tasks with a friend or neighbor. Example: “I’ll walk your dog if you pick up my grocery order.”
🔹 With a romantic partner:
Instead of asking for vague help, set clear, direct expectations. Example: “Can you handle dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to start.
Your Body is Your Home—You Deserve Comfort In It
You don’t have to earn the right to care for yourself. You don’t need to justify why you deserve rest, movement, nourishing food, or time to yourself.
Ask yourself:
➡️ What’s one small way I can invest in myself this week?
➡️ Who can I lean on for support?
You deserve to be chosen.